By Heron & By Season

by Emily Millard

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1.
Flashlight 02:41
if you shine your flashlight to the palm of my hand in the night if you hold your hand up high to the eastern rise you can see your veins you can see my veins you can see the light shine right through did you think you were just out walking did you think you were just out walking out walking through an easy grove did you think I was a monk in a robe easy grove falling leaves a serious tree this is all I am this is all I will be
2.
Chainbreaker 03:06
chainbreaker it's your task to lose this grip this hold on fearfulness first is first free yourself and then you'll free your family your whole lineage bravely pick the locks generations old open all the doors chainbreaker who were you one life two lives you’ve changed the whole design how simple how perfect how clear the path you fear it draw near it bravely pick the locks generations old open all the doors
3.
Toxic Town 04:11
when you were born, you knew one breath of city air one taste of North America you tried to slip away before anybody guessed your name they didn’t really know how to care for your soul they laid you in a cradle by a highway sign between a shipping lane and a railway line on the unceded land you inherited from a soy farmer & a native band they didn’t really know how to care for your soul how can you plant a seed in a toxic town the debt of generations weathered and worn your grandfather was gravely misinformed he covered all the land with chemicals that seeped into the water table some grew a harder shell while the cancer spread from the horn of plenty to the fountainhead you caught a train to ride to the end of all tracks where you sunk your spade in the unturned land they didn’t really know how to care for your soul how can you plant a seed in a toxic town
4.
I have been afraid of the truth don't say it I have been afraid of the truth every moment clue after clue every moment bells ringing wake up you! I just roll over when you climbed inside this shell you suspended all to become a story written in the marrow directed by stars cued up by symbols and signs by heron and by season by fruit and by wine who can name the root of this fear don't say it who can name the root of this fear just watch the last leaf quiver and cling to the tree I am that leaf I was 26 years old when the panic seized me unrecognizable when she came to meet me a lily from beyond handed me by a stranger a promise of spring in the midst of deep freeze
5.
Eisblumen 03:17
make me the ice flower that blooms in darkness in minus centigrade against the curve of your glassy surface make me formlessness crystallized iron filings polarized singeing you with my shattered light
6.
As a Cloud 01:43
as a cloud passes by the sun testing shades of darkness revealing light in its time testing shades of light shades of dark shades of light didn't know darkness didn't know how dark it could get didn't know how far down I would descend didn't know lightness was a place I had to climb minute by minute as a cloud travels fast and far testing new formations pulled at once by four winds testing shape and form shape and form as a cloud passes by the sun
7.
come on and be my snake charmer summon me I don't wanna wait anymore I want to rise when I was young I saw a world full of damage desperate souls buried beneath all their sadness everywhere I went I'd smell a thief and I'd vanish I hid my light so they wouldn't take what was mine come on and be my snake charmer I have been so guarded and so uninviting to generous hearts who loved me deep and abiding all they were trying to do was to free me from hiding turn back the stone where I live alone come on and be my snake charmer I don’t wanna wait anymore
8.
Hunter 05:29
follow with your eye the animal moving through the trees watch where the horizontal line forms the vertices follow with your eye the animal train the eye to tell the spots on her hide from the skin of the alder follow with your eye the animal grey wolf howling all the night and all the morning build a fence of sound around the valley bluff to bluff their voices bouncing seems the pack is multiplying set the deer to run follow with your eye the animal listen for the leaves notice the movement of the birds the rustling wings follow with your eye the animal never look away and if a thought should cloud the mind let it pass by follow with your eye the animal on the beach the eagle nesting dives across the path we're walking cries a piercing cry to come no farther all the night and all the morning grey wolf howling set the deer to run follow with your eye the animal the same I hear you singing round our patch of land fallow for a hundred years and turned over by your hand
9.
Where is God 06:41
don't put ideas in her head her young and blessed head she came not long ago I suspect she may still remember the place where secrets are kept we should be asking her instead why do some trees grow so tall while the dragonfly lives but one season ask her where is god when she was young she said to me this world is one big house, Emily I do not know this world, she said we walked below a skytrain I wish I'd asked her, Madeline what happens to a dead man's soul but she was only two years old I wish I'd asked her who and why how and where is god I still remember in those days when I was very small too small to be alone my mother watched from the window a ceremony in my hands I held it in the sticks and stones I heard it in the heaving wind I wore it in my ancient bones I rearranged the poles I moved the universe I ordered up the the stars consoled this haggard earth a steeple nor a cross need have marked a holy place a river or a mossy bank a rock of any shape answered where is god
10.
Hourglass 03:46
what you never knew has been haunting you strange visitors knocking at your dreams what would it take to bring back that day without turning away what's buried in the sands of time swept away by winds of the mind grain by grain collecting on the bottom of the hourglass if you're willing to see would you even believe and what would you do with what you know

credits

released October 7, 2016

Musicians:
Emily Millard - vocals, piano, tenor guitar, acoustic guitar, percussion (6)
Colin Nealis - upright bass, electric bass
Daniel Gaucher - drums (1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 10)
Sandro Perri - synths, harpsichord, clavinet, electric guitar, percussion (7)
Jesse Zubot - violin, viola (3, 8)
Peggy Lee - cello
Henry Lee - viola (5, 9)
Blake Howard - drums (7)
Ernie Tollar - bass flute, soprano saxophone
Jeremy Strachan - bass clarinet
Michael Davidson - vibraphone

Composer & Lyricist: Emily Millard
Producer: Sandro Perri
Engineer: John Raham at Afterlife, Vancouver BC
Additional engineering: Erik Nielsen at Afterlife; Sandro Perri at 6 Nassau, Toronto ON; Corwin Fox at Hidden Well, Cumberland BC
Mixing: Sandro Perri
Mastering: Paul Gold, Salt Mastering, Brooklyn NY
String Arrangements: Mike Smith (5), Philipp Martin (9)
String Direction: Jesse Zubot
Artwork: Jessica Fortner
Design: Michael Wandelmaier

My deepest gratitude to the following guiding lights and supporters:

Chloe Gow-Jarrett & Adam Millard; Orion Cleasby; John & Lilith Cleasby; Jan Zwicky; Corwin Fox, Kirsten Werner, Kaya & Tao; Serena & Gina Coutts; Liam Smith; John MacLean; Davide Direnzo; Aaron Davis; Michael Feuerstack; Laurel Sprengelmeyer; Rolf Hansen; Alin Coen; Philipp Martin; Martyn Heyne; Benoit Morier; Joel Kerr; Ruby Kato- Attwood; Benjamin Schuetze; Jacquelyn Mills; Shawn Kangro; Vince Nealis & Liz Hansen; Linda, Bill & Corbin Murdoch; Samantha Parton; Mike Yealland, Vasta Mukambaraga, Kevin, Herve & Shami; Meredith McEvoy & Andrew Mark; Jennifer Kingsley & Toby Meis; Hannah Epperson; Kendall Green; Peter Mynett; Montana & Steve Brockley; Joyce & Doug Millard; Thea Gow-Jarrett & Michael Millard; Maecan Campbell; Sonya Weir; Sarah & Paul Jackson; Luke Stime; Christopher Fleck; Rebecca Luce-Kapler; David Pimm; Paul Uy; Michael Boissevain; Barb Cohen; Adrienne Stos & Liam Epps; Canada Council for the Arts; FACTOR.

This project is funded in part by FACTOR, the Government of Canada and Canada’s private radio broadcasters. Ce projet est financé en partie par FACTOR, le gouvernement du Canada et les radiodiffuseurs privés du Canada.

We acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts, which last year invested $153 million to bring the arts to Canadians throughout the country.

Nous remercions le Conseil des arts du Canada de son soutien. L’an dernier, le Conseil a investi 153 millions de dollars pour mettre de l’art dans la vie des Canadiennes et des Canadiens de tout le pays.

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Emily Millard

Emily Millard, known formerly as Miss Emily Brown, is a Canadian singer-songwriter whose unique blend of art-folk combines poetry with vintage keys, steel strings and found-instruments.
In the last ten years, Emily released a series of records under the moniker Miss Emily Brown and with chamber-pop band Morlove.
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